Journey of Surrender

By Wilson | Published on  

As an artist, my personal experiences shape my perspective and influence my artwork. In this blog post, I want to discuss how a personal experience changed my artistic perspective and led me to create some of my most meaningful pieces.

Growing up, I was the youngest of eight children in my family, and my supermom would drive us all over town to our various after-school activities. Despite being surrounded by siblings, I found solace in painting, which became my private world where I could make my own rules. By the age of 14, I knew I wanted to be an artist, and I continued to hone my skills through graduate school and my first solo show.

However, it wasn’t until my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2011 that my perspective and approach to my artwork began to change. At first, I tried to fix the situation and researched alternative medicines, diets, and treatments. But my mother reminded me to pace myself and helped me to realize that it was important to listen to her and be present with her during her journey.

This experience taught me to let go of trying to control the uncontrollable and to hug vulnerability. It also led me to explore new environments and techniques in my artwork. By letting go of my need for control and hugging imperfection, I was able to create paintings that were more expressive and meaningful.

In my upcoming show, I plan to showcase these new works that represent my journey of personal growth and self-discovery. I hope my experiences will inspire others to hug the unknown and unpredictable, to find beauty in the imperfections, and to connect with what truly matters.

As an artist, it can be challenging to find a space to experiment and learn. For me, painting became my private world where I could make my own rules and hone my skills without the pressures of the outside world.

Growing up as the youngest of eight children, I learned a few survival skills, such as not letting my big brothers see me do anything stupid. Painting became my private world where I could be in total control and make my own rules. By the age of 14, I knew I wanted to be an artist and pursued every available art class, including one in New York City that my mother even joined.

In this private world, I was able to learn the rules of painting, such as making my paintings as realistic as possible, and creating a specific and believable atmosphere. This led to my early success as an artist, and my first solo show even sold out.

However, as I continued to create paintings in my private world, I began to realize that the rules I had learned were limiting my growth as an artist. I needed to let go of control and hug imperfection to create art that was more expressive and meaningful.

Through my personal experiences, I learned that while it’s important to learn the rules and develop skills, it’s equally important to explore new environments and techniques to expand one’s perspective and creativity. By finding a balance between structure and experimentation, we can continue to grow and evolve as artists.

As an artist, curiosity is a valuable asset that can lead to new discoveries and creative breakthroughs. In my case, impulsive curiosity led me to explore new techniques and materials that helped me achieve success as an artist.

For instance, I started painting people in water, which presented a complicated challenge that kept me busy for a decade. I explored different materials, such as vinyl, steam, and glass, to add more depth and texture to my paintings. I even mixed flour with bathwater to make it cloudy and floated cooking oil on the surface for one of my paintings.

My impulsive curiosity also led me to put Vaseline in my hair just to see what it would look like. While some of these experiments may have been unconventional, they helped me expand my creative horizons and find my unique voice as an artist.

Through my experiences, I learned that it’s essential to be open to new ideas and willing to take risks to achieve success as an artist. By hugging curiosity and allowing ourselves to explore and experiment, we can push the boundaries of what we think is possible and achieve great things.

Loss is an inevitable part of life, and it can be challenging to cope with the feelings of grief and sadness that come with it. As an artist, I experienced a significant loss when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, which spread to her bones and brain.

At first, I tried to do everything I could to help her, researching alternative medicines, diets, and juicing. However, I soon realized that trying to control the situation was causing me more stress and anxiety.

Instead, I learned to surrender control and be present with my mother in the moment. We developed a routine that involved spending time together, sharing meals, and taking showers. These simple activities became our sacred ritual, and we repeated them day after day as the cancer grew.

Through this experience, I learned the importance of surrendering control and being present in the moment. It’s essential to let go of the things we cannot control and focus on what we can do to support and care for those we love.

While it’s natural to feel helpless in the face of loss, we can find comfort in connecting with others and sharing our experiences. By surrendering control and being present, we can find meaning and purpose in the most difficult of circumstances.

As an artist, perfection can be a difficult standard to achieve. In her talk, the speaker emphasizes the importance of hugging imperfection and chaos in the creative process.

She describes how she started exploring the outdoors and using landscapes as her inspiration. This allowed her to let go of control and hug the imperfections that come with working in a new environment. She left one of her wet paintings outside overnight and found it covered in bugs the next day, but she didn’t mind because it was part of the process.

The speaker also talks about how she started incorporating figures into her paintings and creating a connection between people and the environment. She let go of her attachment to creating a realistic space and instead focused on the chaotic and turbulent surface of the paintings. This allowed her to explore vulnerability and human connection.

Overall, the speaker’s experience teaches us that hugging imperfection and letting go of control can lead to a more fulfilling creative process. It’s important to be curious, explore new environments, and not be afraid of making mistakes. Through imperfection, we can find beauty and meaning in our art.

The speaker discusses how she left behind the meticulously rendered safe place of her earlier paintings, created in isolation, and started experimenting with new techniques and environments. She turned to the woods, where she found the freedom to be reckless and to let go of control, which allowed her to create paintings that were chaotic and imperfect, yet fascinating.

The speaker then began adding people into her paintings, and she found the new environment she had created allowed for a deeper human connection, where there was no resistance or control. She expresses her intention to create paintings that capture this vulnerability and connection.

The speaker shares a preview of her upcoming show, which features expansive spaces instead of the isolated bathtubs of her earlier work. She has learned to hug imperfection and to savor the unknown, unpredictable aspects of life.

Through her personal experience, the speaker encourages others to hug the unknown and find beauty in the unpredictable. She reminds us that we all experience big losses in life, but it is important to fall to our knees and be humbled by them. By letting go of the need for control and being open to vulnerability and human connection, we can find meaning and purpose in our lives.

As an artist, it’s easy to feel the pressure to always have everything under control and to present a polished image of oneself to the world. However, as the artist in the video explains, sometimes life throws us unexpected challenges that force us to confront our vulnerabilities and let go of what cannot be changed.

The artist shares a personal story about experiencing a difficult loss and how it affected her creative process. She talks about the importance of hugging vulnerability and allowing oneself to feel emotions, even the difficult ones. By doing so, she was able to create art that truly reflected her experiences and emotions.

The artist also speaks about the importance of community and support during difficult times. She emphasizes the value of having people around who understand and support you, and who can provide a safe space to express yourself.

Through her experiences, the artist learned that vulnerability can be a strength, and that by hugging it, we can create art that is truly authentic and meaningful. She encourages others to let go of the need for control and perfection, and to allow themselves to be vulnerable and open to whatever comes their way.

In the final part of the video, the speaker reflects on how her experiences of loss have taught her to find beauty in the unknown and unpredictable. She shares how she used to find comfort in having control and predictability in her life, but after experiencing loss, she has learned to hug the uncertainty and appreciate the beauty that can come from unexpected moments.

The speaker explains that as an artist, she often feels the need to have complete control over her work, but she has learned to let go and allow her pieces to take on a life of their own. She describes how this has led to some of her most beautiful and unexpected works.

The speaker also emphasizes the importance of being vulnerable and open to the unknown in order to fully experience the beauty of life. She shares how her experiences of loss have taught her to appreciate every moment, even the difficult ones.

Overall, the speaker’s journey as an artist and a person has been shaped by her experiences of loss and her willingness to hug the unknown. She encourages others to do the same, to find beauty in unexpected places and to be open to the unpredictable nature of life.

Throughout this blog post, we’ve explored the artistic journey of an individual who has faced various obstacles and challenges while pursuing their passion for painting. From personal experiences that shifted their perspective to coping with loss and surrendering control, the artist has shared insights into their creative process, which can be applied to any creative pursuit.

One of the most notable takeaways from the artist’s journey is the importance of hugging vulnerability and imperfection in the creative process. Instead of striving for perfection, the artist encourages us to focus on the journey itself, hugging the unknown and unpredictability of the creative process. The artist has also highlighted the significance of learning the rules of the craft while breaking them to create something unique and original.

Moreover, the artist’s ability to find beauty in the unknown and unpredictable has been a source of inspiration for many. By hugging their curiosity and taking risks, they have been able to create something that is not only visually stunning but also emotionally impactful.

Finally, the artist’s upcoming show is a testament to their perseverance and dedication to their craft. It is an opportunity for us to witness their artistic growth and see how they have navigated through various challenges to create something truly remarkable.

In conclusion, the artist’s journey reminds us that the creative process is not always easy, and obstacles are bound to arise. However, it is how we navigate through these challenges and hug vulnerability that leads to our growth and success. So, whether you’re an artist, writer, musician, or any other creative, take inspiration from this journey and hug the unknown to create something truly unique and impactful.

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